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Recognition budget

Many people believe that they are giving more recognition than they get themselves. It is important to recognize recognition, for example, the smile on the face of your conversation partner, holding a door, being asked for your personal opinion at work.

Search specifically for evidence of appreciation or recognition given to you. And when you come to the conclusion “that is too little”, get yourself some recognition by asking the people around you how satisfied they are with your performance (“And? From my perspective, this went well. What do you think?”). Of course, we need people’s feedback – but we should not make ourselves dependent on compliments from others.

For those that have to deal with a supervisor who never gives praise see If praise is absent….

Basics

Do I know the greatest strength of each of my colleagues? Do I stick to the recognition rule (ratio praise : criticism = at least 3 : 1)? Do I consciously focus on positive achievements? Do I equally distribute my appreciation, without favoritism?
Receiving recognition

Do most people smile when they meet me for the first time each day? Has a colleague afforded me recognition within the past 3 weeks? Have I been praised during the last 4 weeks from my manager?
Giving recognition

Have I praised myself today? Have I deliberately paid attention to things that make me smile during the day? Have I praised someone (at work) during the last 5 working days? Did I offer words of recognition to a colleague in the last 3 weeks? Did I “naturally” recognize something consciously as in the past 4 weeks? Have I praised my own supervisor in the past 3 months?

To get more recognition

Admit your (small) weaknesses. This makes you likeable and “reachable”. People that think themselves as perfect, are a turn off for other people. Even though everybody knows that nobody is perfect.
Make yourself an attractive dialogue partner: listen actively, show empathy and be understanding and have an open ear – all this is more important than giving great advice.
Share your positive emotions, such as your gratitude (on received support, recent success, the prompt sending of information material, for a delivery, etc.).
Stay humble. Being a show off is a deterrent, modesty attracts.
Be prepared to show appreciation of people (even if you feel rejection or skepticism): Search for something appreciable in them!
Emphasize the advantages of an absent third party, instead of joining in on backbiting. Keep this line, even if it initially looks as you will be punished by rejection.
Take care to be successful outside of the work environment. Find other sources of recognition outside of work. Work is only one source for receiving recognition.
Show yourself, make yourself visible – not only with the achievements or your level of commitment, but also as a human being with all emotions (poker-faced winners receive less appreciation.)
Encourage others to show their emotions (“Are you happy?”, “It is obvious that this is upsetting you”). Those who are close to us in emotional moments are also liked afterwards.
And if the appreciation comes in the form of appreciative words: Smile please. You need not say anything. Just enjoy in silence…