Conflict resolution tips

As long as there are humans, there will also be also conflicts. A few can be avoided when you early on put yourself in the perspective of others and you proactively nourish and take care of your self-esteem – in so doing, you retain a clear head and you are less prone to sickness. And for the remaining situations, here are few tips to help you so that conflicts aren’t left to simmer and become unsolvable.

The most important tip for conflicts in which you are involved:

• Keep calm. This is only possible by a short retreat (at least mental; or you say something like “one moment, I have to think about it”). Breathe deeply for a moment!
• Additionally, a spatial or temporal distance would be better. With distance, the risk is lower that you can be carried away by emotions. One keeps a cool head.
• Prepare the discussion about the conflict!
• Ask yourself: What are my needs, which are not being satisfied, that cause me to react in an offended or upset manner? What would be good for me in this situation?
• Take the perspective of your counterpart: What does s/he want to achieve (not: why)? What are her/his needs? How can you satisfy this in another way?

Even if it is not fun: Only through comprehension, i.e. taking the perspective of the other party, can conflicts be resolved. Think of it as an experiment of thought

You can find additional tips on conflict management here (German only):
https://www.psyga.info/gesunde-arbeitswelt/konfliktmanagement

Checklist “criticize correctly”

• Never ironic or sarcastic, but always address the situation directly; but however show your anger!
• Initially not criticize in the presence of third parties, but rather in private
• Not via phone call, but rather be “brave” and use face-to-face conversation
• Don’t discuss many points of criticism in one talk, but rather a maximum of two criticisms directly after the event
• Don’t use words such as “always”/“never” (“You are always so…”), rather state specifically what happened in the particular situation (“Yesterday, I noticed…”)
• Never snarl or grouse only for the sake of doing this, but rather always with the constructive aim of later behavioral change.
• No accusations, but rather formulate wishes) – accusations always refer to the past (you cannot change what has already happened) – wishes refer to the future.
• Don’t criticize the person, but rather only the behavior.