What might such a conversation actually look like?

• Provide a quiet, relaxed atmosphere so that both conversation partners feel as comfortable as possible. However, abandon any claim of being totally relaxed yourself. That is unrealistic. Heart palpitations are normal.
• Describe free of judgment what you have noticed (no diagnosis, please) like “I just noticed that your face is so red.”
• Put into words that something has changed (“I don't know you this way”). This requires that you’ve always looked at your employees caringly.
• Ask: “What’s going on?” (and not if he or she has a problem). The question is open-ended, non-judgmental, and provides a comfortable distance to the person. Don’t be offended if you get a “nothing” in response. Maybe it’s really too personal or he or she doesn’t want to talk to you yet. What is important is that you have made an offer to talk. It’s an offer, nothing more.
• Express your sympathy: “I'm worried and would like to support you.” (In contrast to help, support implies, you are already active yourself but I am also at your side.)
• Ask for ideas: “What needs to happen so that you’ll feel more comfortable (relaxed, involved, less overloaded at the workplace?” Also ask what you can contribute. Wait for the answers, allow extra time. Please don’t overwhelm the other person with your ideas (“I was thinking, you…”).
• Don't be afraid to verbalize your own discomfort (“I don’t have this type of conversation every day, I also feel a bit uncomfortable”).
• Make an appointment for talking about changes (“I'd suggest that we get together again in two weeks”).
• Go ahead and express relief (“I'm glad that we have talked about it and that you want to address it now.”)